How are you feeling?

My manager always asked this question during my 1on1 with him: "how are you feeling?" And I always avoided it by answering how my project and the team are going. Then he would ask again: "Okay, but how are YOU feeling?". Then I would stop and think about how I actually felt, mentally and emotionally.

I realized this is a great question to ask people around me, so I could provide the care and support they needed.

But it never came across my mind that this was a question that I should ask myself, too.

In my last therapy session, my therapist pointed out that I used logic for everything: to make decisions, to interpret others' actions, to plan, etc. She said that she noticed this pattern among engineers. We, engineers, tended to rely on logic so heavily that sometimes we forgot that we, as human, have feelings and emotions.

I realized she was right. I had been very "brain-first". Logic and reasonings always came first. And I often neglected my feelings and emotions.

Sometimes feelings and emotions could tell me more and guide me better than my brain. But because I was so lost in my own head, I missed the message coming from my feelings and emotions.

I also often lost touch with how my body was feeling. That's why sometimes I let my desires to abuse my body, to overwork and overwhelmed myself.

Now I learn to slow my head down. I try to not rush into using logics to solve problems. I try to check-in with myself every now and then and ask: how am I feeling? what does my body feel, physically, mentally, and emotionally, at the moment?

I wonder, my friend, how are you feeling?


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